They Finally Kicked Me Out
On Sunday, October 27th, Beautiful the Carole King Musical closed on Broadway.
So basically my dad had to drag me off the stage to get me to go to the after party. And today I got to work at half hour and then realized- NOPE. It’s going well.
Today is my first day since 2015 of not going into a stage door, and I really wasn’t sure how I’d feel. But... and I don’t want to jump the gun here... (whispers) I don’t think I’m sad. I kind of wanted to be. I was so ready to wallow in my most dramatic feelings. And it turns out, the world is still spinning. Huh.
I got to the gym this morning, and the first two faces I saw just gave me the warmest wishes, as if my dog had just died. They knew my show was closing and were so sweet. I get on the treadmill to see an actor friend of mine who recently closed her Broadway show too. She’s seasoned and so chill. She checked in with me: ‘How are you doing?’ Nodding her head totally understanding everything I’m saying before amping up my speed uphill. I felt seen. And understood.
And I realized- Man… Living this actor life in New York City – I will never be alone. This is all part of the game. Do you know what? I’m here for it. I truly do not know what’s next. But for some reason, my heart feels so excited. I have peace that surpasses all understanding. And when I get that feeling, I’ve learned to not question it. I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I don’t feel afraid. I feel like this timing is right- though I really couldn’t tell you why.
My spirit is saying, take a breath. Rest, darling.
I dreaded going into work on the last day. I did not want it to end AT ALL. (Y’all know if they didn’t kick me out, I would have died up in that theater honey. Beautiful on Broadway was my favorite show.) But when I made my first entrance, and the entire ensemble got entrance applause, I thought,
‘OH. This is going to be FUN. Got it. Let’s DO THIS.’
I’m smiling today because it happened.